DAY 1 – FEAR & TEMPTATION
I was afraid that being hungry would turn me into a monster--that anyone I cross paths with would become have to suffer my wrath. I was afraid that I would pass out in my cubicle at work. I was afraid to go on Facebook or Instagram because I was afraid of being tempted by people’s food pictures. Speaking of temptation, that was a whole different monster. I found myself literally fantasizing about food—I didn’t just think about food…I imagined myself completely adoring it and indulging in it…in slow mo (for shame)! I was tempted to be consumed with thoughts of my own discomfort, leaving less time to pray for the real needs of God’s people. I was tempted to just eat something and hearing voices like, “Go ahead…nobody will know…” but soon remembered that God knows all and that He sees the heart. The more I tried not to think about food, the more I thought about food. It was a struggle. Then I was reminded by a quote by Thomas Chalmers--
“The only way to dispossess the heart of an old affection is by the expulsive power of a new one.”
In the midst of my own selfishness and paranoia, I had forgotten my First Love. The only way I could stop thinking of food and my own needs is to remember Jesus—to be captivated once again, and be in awe of, the sweetness of the Gospel.
By end of Day 1, I was deeply convicted of my silly fears and moments when I gave into temptation. I knew that the sensitivity of my fears and temptations were revealed to me by His Spirit—it was God’s grace that He confronted me so that I can repent from those things and run to God Himself.
DAY 2 – PEACE
I felt so free the 2nd day fasting! Well, relatively speaking. All fears and temptations miraculously faded into the background—the voices that seemed so loud and vivid Day 1 no longer had a hold on me. I sensed the Holy Spirit telling me that He was with me. There was so much more clarity. I came to realize that in those 2 days, I wasn’t as irritable and annoyed with people as I thought I’d be. If anything, I felt even more patient and gracious with people than I normally would with a full belly. It was totally a miracle! Weird! But good. J I was able to spend time to sincerely pray for the children overseas, not as something to just check off a prayer list, but because I truly desired for them to experience the richness of God’s love, just as I have.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED (Once head knowledge, but now a heart experience)
1. God really does empower us to resist giving into temptation, no matter how impossible it may feel.
2. I can’t let my flesh, my appetite, and my emotions control me...God is my Lord. And only He is good.
3. Miracles do happen!
4. God is most glorified, when we are most satisfied in Him.
Just want to thank all the fellow brothers and sisters that were praying for me, and along with me, during the fast. So blessed and humbled to be beside other believers who share in Christ’s love. Praise God!!