Sometimes its hard to describe to someone what actually went on during those 2 weeks in a different country doing things you don't normally do at home. When someone asks me, "How was it?" I think...How do I answer you? Do you have a free hour for me to share. And then a simple...it was good comes out. #fail. I think as a short term missionary, so many thoughts and feelings come flooding in all at 1 time. Its hard to sort everything out. Its hard to process everything you've seen and been through. And it's even harder to put into words.
So I say....a better to ask myself is... Why did I go in the first place?
Matthew 28 says...Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
and I John says...
Those are reasons I go. To share God's love to the kids of Thailand and Cambodia. To show God's love at work in tangible ways to those who need it. To respond to God's calling and obey. Not to think..well I only made connections with 3 kids...when I had a goal of 5 kids...so I must've failed somehow.
I think this notion of success and failure through God's eyes and through the worlds eyes are worlds apart. Success through the world's eyes is setting a goal and achieving it at all costs. But I think success through God's eyes is simply say yes to when God's asks you to do something. The results have nothing to do with us anyways, so the results shouldn't dictate whether or not we are successful. Whether or not something happens is entirely dependent on God, not us. And I think as a short term missionary, that is something I constantly have to remind myself. Cuz its natural. We want to feel like we did something. That we made a difference. But I think it is us who needs God, not that God needs us to do something.
After these trips, I always ask myself this one question? What if the kids didnt respond to me? What if, worse yet, they hated me? Would I go back? Sorry, that was more than 1 question... If I don't have some kind of connection with the staff or kids? Would I go back? And I answer YES. If God's calling doesn't change, then my answer shouldn't change. My obedience shouldn't be dependent on the outcome. And to remember God is sovereign. He doesn't make mistakes. And every single moment on the trip went according to His good purpose. And it perfectly designed.
God's work began in Southeast Asia long before I ever got there. And it will continue long after I am gone. God doesn't need me. I need Him. And I am so blessed and privileged that this is what He has called me to do. I am honored to be part of His story, no matter how big or small, in Thailand and Cambodia.
As you've hopefully read from the other team members, God did use this team in many ways. I've seen God work in the hearts of the team in great ways. I've seen God's love being shared countless times on this trip. And I've seen the Holy Spirit move within the team and community we served for 2 weeks. And it was all because of Him. It's amazing to see how when we take our eyes off of ourselves and focus on God, that we can see Him working so clearly.
Thanks for reading my ramblings,